• Isobel McEwan

Mum's the Word

My Mum, Nancy

I know this is primarily a business website - or is it? It can be whatever I want it to be!

As I approach the ripe and fabulous age of 60, I've learned that labels restrict our imagination and our spirit. Before business, there was school and possibly college or university. Before school there were the early formative years with our parents and family.

Good or bad, our parents, family, background and friends influenced who we became. I know there may be people reading this who will instantly disagree with this statement because they had none of the foregoing - a decent education, a loving family, or a circle of good and supportive friends who believed in you - no matter what.

But I firmly believe they are the jigsaws of our life - just as the lack of them can also be. If some or all of the pieces are missing, then there may be a long road ahead to complete the puzzle - but it can be completed.

Back to my original blog - Mum's the Word.

I first penned this blog on Christmas Eve 2011. Now, more than ever I realise its importance - not only to appreciate the Mum I loved and lost but to appreciate her influence on me to become the best person, Mum and Nannie I can be.

Over the years I've experienced the loss of a child, my Dad, my Mum, my best friend and brother in law (who was more like a brother) and none of the emotions I felt were the same.

Someone said to me when I lost my 1 year old daughter (a few years after losing my very young Dad) that when you lose a parent, you lose your past but when you lose a child, you lose your future. I have learned that to be so.

I have lots of photos of my Dad to prove that he was part of my history but I'll never have any of my daughter starting school, university, getting married and becoming a Mum herself.

So, with every passing year I often thought what my future would look like had my daughter survived. Those were bleak, sad days that changed immediately on the birth of my long awaited and much sought after son. He is now an amazing, confident, successful adult and father to my equally amazing grandson. My life is so much brighter and rosier with them in it.

However (and I know it's the same for my sisters and brother) - the loss of a Mum, particularly one that you were so close to, is a feeling that will that will never, ever leave you. In our case she was the glue that held our family together - the inspirational, loving, role model of a Mum and Nannie that I aspire to be.

So, inspired by some recent sad news of people who have lost their Mums, I am posting my original blog from Christmas Eve 2011 - as heartfelt today as it was then.

We lost our Mum two months after this blog was written.

Dedicated to all of you who have lost or are about to lose your Mum.

Christmas Eve, 2011

Mum's the Word!

I'm missing my Mum! There I've said it!

I'm a 50'ish Mum myself to a wonderful son that I adore.

But at this time of year it's impossible not to think of my own Mum with pride, love and longing.

I moved to Spain from Scotland three weeks ago - the trigger was my son flying the nest - no not just leaving it, spreading his wings and soaring ..... to the other side of the world, New Zealand to be exact! I miss him terribly but love the fact that he's inherited my wanderlust gene and is stepping out of his comfort zone to experience all that life has to offer.

So, my husband and I decided to have our own adventure! We rented out our house in Scotland, de-cluttered, donated lots to charity, packed what we could into our car (including our little pup Lola) and set off on our road trip to Spain! We're not here forever - that's the beauty of a portfolio career - you can base yourself anywhere!

But back to my Mum.... the toughest part of leaving was saying goodbye to my Mum who is, without doubt, the kindest, most unselfish person I know. Throughout my life

her pearls of wisdom have lifted, motivated and inspired me:

"Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday and all is well"

'Don't trouble trouble until trouble troubles you"

"It's a long road that doesn't have a turning"

"Treat others as you would expect to be treated”

These pearls have become the mantra for our family - my Godson even had one of them tattooed on his arm as a constant reminder of his Nan (and he's so not into tattoos!).

So on this Christmas Eve morning I am thinking of and missing my Mum and I'm proud to say it. If you are lucky enough to still have your Mum then don't forget to tell her how special she is and share her 'pearls' - that way she'll be immortal.

And if you don't have that special relationship with your Mum then aspire to be the kind of Mum you would have wanted her to be.

Merry Christmas and lots of love to all the Mums in the world.

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